Pixilated

Somewhat unbalanced mentally...

Saturday, July 29, 2006

News you can use...

...ok, so maybe you can't use it. Who knows? :o) I'm just updating on the weekend so far! Today John, the kids and I went to a meeting that helps to plan part of GenCon. We had a blast. Our kids were a little crazy but everyone else was so nice. We really had fun.

In other news, my friend Cris prompted me to submit some of my writing for publication. This week I submitted 3 articles. The publisher says that it will probably take 4 to 6 weeks to hear back from them. Here's to 4 to 6 weeks of nail biting. If rejected, I promise to try again (hold me to that!). If accepted, here's to more food on the table!

We did receive a check for $300 from our mortgage company, payment for overage on our escrow this year. Praise God! With me staying home, things have been a little tighter money-wise than we've hoped for. But we are still making it! :o)

And for the funny side, we attended a family gathering at my aunt's house this past weekend. It was a "Christmas in July" party complete with Christmas gifts and a visit from "Dougie Clause" (my teenage brother). See below...



Yep, I can't run from this stuff... It follows me everywhere! :o)

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

A quarter of a century...

This explains it all.

Friday, July 21, 2006

ZzzzZzzzzZzzz...

Sleep...I need sleep. Just when I think Erin is sleeping through the night (ok, almost), we are proved wrong! She had a screaming fit last night. I think she's getting a cold. Her nose was all stuffy and she was wheezing a bit. Poor girl. In other news, she learned how to roll over 2 weeks ago. I just forgot to post it. So far, she's done it about once every few days. She's still hasn't done it when John's around though. I hope that she does soon. She got dedicated (kind of like baby baptism) at church on Sunday. Here's a picture of her before the service:



This picture was the next day. I tried to get a hair bow to stay in her hair. It lasted about 30 seconds. Long enough for me to take a picture, I guess!

Thursday, July 20, 2006

Of knitting, mothballs and politics...

I am one of several Small Group Coaches at my church for the women’s groups. Pretty much that means that I'm suppose to meet with all of the leaders of women’s groups to encourage them, discuss how their groups are going and then I pray for them. I'm even supposed to visit their group once per semester. Needless to say, I've been really bad about this.

Last night I went to visit a group. This was a group of elderly ladies that get together, knit and discuss the Bible. It's funny. I don't intentionally shy away from older people. In general, I really like them but for some reason I was not looking forward to last night. When it comes to knitting, my 3-month-old baby girl can knit better than I can. I can barely tie my own shoes. How am I supposed to make a blanket or something out of a piece of string and two metal pokey things?

When I arrived, I was greeted by the group. I soon found out that I was the youngest by 50 years! Everyone was really nice and friendly. My main job was to sit and listen. I never knew that listening would make a group of old women so happy! You’d think that I was Gloria Gaither stepping into the room to sign autographs. They pulled everything out of their bags and showed me what they were for. I saw every stitch and learned every purpose of each knitting project. Everything seemed to kind of have that “old person” smell to it. You know, like mothballs or something.

The conversations went from the Bible and what’s happening in the Middle East to menopause and cat pee. I think we hit everything in between too! I can’t say that I was totally “spiritually challenged” last night. I think the lesson kind of got shoved to the side because they were excited that I was there. But I did learn somethings that weren’t spoken out loud. The Bible talks in Titus 2:3-4 of the older women teaching the younger.

“Guide older women into lives of reverence so they end up as neither gossips nor drunks, but models of goodness. By looking at them, the younger women will know how to love their husbands and children, be virtuous and pure, keep a good house, be good wives. We don't want anyone looking down on God's Message because of their behavior.” (MSG)

I listened to these women talk about their families and friends and how much they cherished them. I watched them show pride in their work. I watched them laugh and giggle like silly school girls. I was amazed at how much fun I had. So, I didn’t learn anything “deep” this time. But I did learn about life. I think I’m going to make it a habit of observing those who are older than me. They can teach me a lot not only by the things that they say but also by the things that they do. The Bible does indeed honor age and wisdom:

“Gray hair is a crown of glory; it is gained by living a godly life.” Proverbs 16:31 (NLT)

"Show your fear of God by standing up in the presence of elderly people and showing respect for the aged. I am the LORD.” Leviticus 19:32 (NLT)

“Wisdom belongs to the aged, and understanding to those who have lived many years.” Job 12:12 (NLT)

“Never speak harshly to an older man, but appeal to him respectfully as though he were your own father. Talk to the younger men as you would to your own brothers. Treat the older women as you would your mother, and treat the younger women with all purity as your own sisters.” 1 Timothy 5:1-2 (NLT)

I turn 25 next Tuesday and I think I have a new outlook on it. I was starting to get depressed for being “a quarter of a century” old. Wisdom does belong to the aged. I’ll take the extra year if it means I’ll get some wisdom to go along with it. Gray hair is a crown of glory. Thank, God! I’ve already found a “glory tiara” starting to show up on my head! And if it means that I can be a better wife, mom and woman by learning from older women, bring it on!

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Critical Masses

***EDITED ON JULY 17TH***

(Dramatization)

Friend: So, what did you think of Pastor’s sermon on Sunday?

Me: I loved it. He totally hit the nail on the head. It’s exactly what I’m dealing with right now. What about you?

Friend: Eh, it was ok. I zoned out after a while. I did catch where he was quoting the wrong scripture. He kept saying John 2:16 instead of John 3:16. I couldn’t believe that. Worship drove me nuts too. I’m so sick of singing “Breathe”. I’m breathing—can we move on? And the drums…sheesh! They are way too loud. Somebody should tell the sound guy to turn his hearing aids on. He’s killing all of us with his decibels!

Me: Yeah…well, maybe they…*interrupted*

Friend: And what’s up with the nursery? I got stopped in the hall last week and was asked to volunteer once a month. Like I want to do that. I’m so offended. The parking spaces are always full…there’s nothing for my age group…the toilet paper in the bathroom is too rough…Pastor’s tie was ugly…Jenny got dunked longer than I did during the baptismal service…blah…blah…blah…”

Me: Oooookkkkkay…

I’m not totally sure how it all started. But it’s been going on for centuries. I’ve been part of the problem, part of the solution and even just an observer at times. I’m talking about bashing the church. It’s something that exists in every church and every demographic. Being on staff at my church for the past four years, I’ve seen all sides of it. And I’ve seen it especially present in my age group, the “emerging” twenty-somethings. Chris Troutman, a writer for Relevant Magazine writes this:

“Picture a young, blushing bride minutes from walking down the aisle and plunging into the biggest day of her life. Months have been spent preparing for this moment, but they do not begin to shadow the years she has been playing it out in her head. Every piece, every detail has been meticulously attended to and shown the uttermost care. Not one thing about this day has been overlooked.

As the bride turns in the mirror for that final look, you notice that in her motion she has upset a flower in her hair. And stepping closer you see that part of the stitching in the seam of her dress has come undone, only slightly, but still undone. Upon further inspection you notice that the ribbons on her shoulders are not symmetrical at all. In fact she naturally leans just slightly to the left, a fluke that can be attributed to a broken leg when she was 8.

At this point you become faced with a difficult situation. Some of these problems can be mended easily, some will take longer, and some are out of your hands. You realize that something must be done. You have to intervene.

So you pause, assess and naturally begin to verbally and acutely critique the bride from head to toe, taking pains not to miss the smallest flaw. After a complete critical review, you give her a look over to ensure your accuracy, and then briskly leave the room with the satisfaction of a job well done.”


It’s pretty obvious that the analogy Chris is trying to give is about our relationship to the Bride of Christ--the Church. We’ve done a pretty good job at “deconstructing” the church. We know every fault (and who’s it is). We know every attempt that failed. We know because we keep record and we regularly discuss it. But none of us are ever really willing (or ready) to help be a catalyst for positive change.

“These days there are lots of people telling us what is wrong with Christianity, but it's rare that those same people offer any kind of proactive solution for all their criticism.” says Noah Cremisino.

It’s one thing to have issues with unsound doctrine like arguing the deity of Jesus. It’s another thing to nit-pick the church to death. You don’t like the carpet. The communion waffers are too small. They didn’t sing your favorite hymn this week. The bulletin doesn’t fit inside your Bible case like it use to. Where are the solutions? The answers to our many “concerns”? Obviously, they don’t bother us too much or we’d be passionately seeking God for guidance. Many of us just opt to “passionately” belittle the church to whomever passes by. Don’t get me wrong. Questions are good. Questions with positive, God-honoring solutions are great. But a question combined only with a critical attitude is not--it's destructive. You only end up getting ticked off every time the word “church” is mentioned or you spread your poisoness attitudes to whoever will listen. It serves no purpose except to be counter productive to the work that God is trying to accomplish through His local body.

“A constantly critical attitude serves to do no greater good, but only to destroy what we have to work with. It leaves us in a cold state of aporia, with nothing but opinions and desires to guide us.” Matt McDonald

So what do we do? It’s only natural that we will have opinions on things—we’re human. And it’s true that we all have freedom of speech. We can legally say whatever we please. But does that make it right? How can we use our “right” properly—to ignite positive change?

This is where prayer comes in. James 1:5 says “If you need wisdom--if you want to know what God wants you to do--ask him, and he will gladly tell you. He will not resent your asking.” (NLT) Asking God for wisdom--there’s a concept. Is what bothers us a misinterpretation of scripture? Are the foundations taught in our church Biblically wrong? If you think this may be the case, meet with your pastor. Get clarification. Search out what the basic mission of the church is. Melanie Pearl once wrote that “…no church is perfect and it can get pretty sticky. It does help, though, if you can connect with a church's basic mission. It is a lot easier to forgive…small imperfections if the overall connection is there. Sometimes it's hard to connect and find a church's basic mission---sometimes a mission is so unified, so clearly defined, the entire body exudes it.” If it’s not Biblically wrong, it then becomes an issue of “style”--personal opinion, per say. You like kazoos on the worship team. I like guitars. If our doctrine is sound, what does it matter? Style isn’t something to argue over. It’s just preference-- the right or chance to so choose.

But what happens if the doctrine that is preached isn’t sound? Then what? I’d still recommend prayer and a meeting with the pastor. If the issues aren’t resolved, then I’d begin searching for a different church. Here’s the kicker though: Each of these things must be done WITHOUT complaining. The Bible makes it pretty clear that complaining isn’t to be tolerated.

Phillippians 2:14-15 says: “In everything you do, stay away from complaining and arguing, so that no one can speak a word of blame against you. You are to live clean, innocent lives as children of God in a dark world full of crooked and perverse people. Let your lives shine brightly before them.”(NLT) (See also Proverbs 10:19, Proverbs 12:18, Proverbs 15:4, Proverbs 18:21, Proverbs 21:23, Proverbs 11:9 and Proverbs 19:11)

And what about these verses:

“There are six things the LORD hates--no, seven things he detests: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, hands that kill the innocent, a heart that plots evil, feet that race to do wrong, a false witness who pours out lies, a person who sows discord among brothers.” Proverbs 6:16-19 (NLT)

“A person who sows discord among brothers”… Sounds like a complainer to me.

“It is important to ask questions, to criticize if you feel it is necessary, to reject if you feel that something is wrong, but always, always seek an answer in return. For everything you reject, embrace something else, otherwise you will be left with nothing. When you hear a message, study its scriptural reference for yourself. When you are struggling with a style of worship, find one that works for you. When you do not feel that the church is doing enough to reach out to people, find ways to do it for yourself.”-Matt McDonald

Action! That’s what is missing. Doing something instead of just complaining about it! My husband and I have several married friends that we get together with from time to time. We have all attended the same church at some point. The evening usually starts with dinner, the kids run around and play and then we spend the next 2 to 3 hours “discussing” the latest annoyance with the church. By the end of the night, everyone ends up leaving disgruntled and discouraged. We managed to talk out our issues but that’s all we did--talk. We didn’t come up with ways to make the situation better. It was just “godless chatter”. 2 Timothy 2:16 says “Repeat these basic essentials over and over to God's people. Warn them before God against pious nitpicking, which chips away at the faith. It just wears everyone out. Concentrate on doing your best for God, work you won't be ashamed of, laying out the truth plain and simple. Stay clear of pious talk that is only talk. Words are not mere words, you know. If they're not backed by a godly life, they accumulate as poison in the soul…” (MSG)

I don’t think Paul is telling us to stay away from all theological debates. Discussing the scriptures and church is good combined with living them out. But merely discussing, arguing, debating, complaining—whatever you want to call it--is not.

“Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.” Proverbs 12:18

Healing and unity in our local churches are good goals to shoot for. It’s what we need to pray for.

“Jesus criticized the religious leaders of His day, but in turn went out and did what He claimed others should do. He had a clear vision and was not lazy or angry about it, but pursued it fully. We should do the same.”-Matt McDonald

Let's resolve to be solutions to the problem not just make the problem bigger. Let us live "clean, innocent lives" according to Phillipians 2. The world has enough crooked and perverse people in it. We don't need church people adding to the numbers. Let’s leave the criticising to Ebert & Roeper. They actually get paid to do it.

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Old Entry #3

Honesty is such a lonely word...
David laments to God in Psalm 51 after Nathan confronts him about his affair with Bathsheba. His heart is broken. He spends this Psalm begging for forgiveness.

Generous in love--God, give grace! Huge in mercy--wipe out my bad record. Scrub away my guilt; soak out my sins in your laundry. I know how bad I've been; my sins are staring me down. You're the One I've violated, and you've seen it all, seen the full extent of my evil. You have all the facts before you; whatever you decide about me is fair. I've been out of step with you for a long time; in the wrong since before I was born.” Psalm 51:1-5 (MSG)

Honesty is such a lonely word.
Everyone is so untrue.
Honesty is hardly ever heard.
And mostly what I need from you.


This particular lyric was written by singer/songwriter Billy Joel and holds some profound insight into the human race. By default, everyone isn’t truthful. Honesty is hardly ever heard but it is one of the key things that God wants from us (Exodus 20:16, Proverbs 6:19, Proverbs 19:5, 9 and Proverbs 24:26). Being honest with ourselves and with God is sometimes one of the toughest things we’ll ever have to do. It forces us to look in the mirror and see all of the uglies that are separating us from having a deeper relationship with God. “Honesty with ourselves requires the examination of our motives in all things”.-Unknown

Psalm 51 probably wasn’t an easy conversation that David had with God. David didn’t try to make excuses for his actions. He simply came forward and said “I’m guilty”. He begs for forgiveness and then later on the chapter says:

“Oh, give me back my joy again; you have broken me--now let me rejoice. Don't keep looking at my sins. Remove the stain of my guilt. Create in me a clean heart, O God. Renew a right spirit within me. Do not banish me from your presence, and don't take your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me again the joy of your salvation, and make me willing to obey you.” Psalm 51:8-12 (NLT)

Honesty and true repentance are ways we can draw closer to God. David discovered the blessing of having a true “heart to heart” with his Creator.

How long has it been since you’ve been truly honest in your prayers to God? Is there something that He’s been asking you to repent?

Sunday, July 09, 2006

Old Entry #2

Numero dos...

Sit still and be quiet!
Exodus 14

I love this chapter. Today it seems to have come alive to me. The chapter starts out with the Israelites wandering around getting ready to make a camp at Phi Hahiroth. Pharaoh is on the look out for the Israelites. He had just released them from bondage and Moses was on his way leading them through the wilderness. God orders Moses to tell the Israelites where to camp and tells them that He is going to confuse Pharaoh to illustrate His glory.

"Pharaoh will think, ‘The Israelites are lost; they're confused. The wilderness has closed in on them.' Then I'll make Pharaoh's heart stubborn again and he'll chase after them. And I'll use Pharaoh and his army to put my Glory on display. Then the Egyptians will realize that I am GOD." Exodus 14:3-4 (MSG)

God confuses Pharaoh and makes him think that the Israelites are lost. Pharaoh becomes pretty ticked off about the idea of the Israelites getting away. He then takes 600 of his best men and goes out to search for them. God makes Pharaoh determined to find Moses and the Israelites. Pharaoh and his crew catch up with them and what happens? The Israelites freak out! They start panicking and complaining to Moses.

“As Pharaoh approached, the Israelites looked up and saw them--Egyptians! Coming at them! They were totally afraid. They cried out in terror to GOD. They told Moses, "Weren't the cemeteries large enough in Egypt so that you had to take us out here in the wilderness to die? What have you done to us, taking us out of Egypt? Back in Egypt didn't we tell you this would happen? Didn't we tell you, "Leave us alone here in Egypt--we're better off as slaves in Egypt than as corpses in the wilderness.” Exodus 14:10-12 (MSG)

They whined and told Moses that he only brought them out here to get them killed. “Egypt. Egypt. Egypt. Didn’t we tell you to leave us in Egypt?” Moses tells them to stand still and to be quiet because the Lord is fighting the battle for them.“Moses spoke to the people: "Don't be afraid. Stand firm and watch GOD do his work of salvation for you today. Take a good look at the Egyptians today for you're never going to see them again. GOD will fight the battle for you. And you? You keep your mouths shut!" Exodus 14:13-14 (MSG)

Ouch! Those are fighting words from one of God’s chosen leaders. How many times have we heard God speak those words to us? I know that I’ve have a time or to. “Hey,you! I’ve brought you here for a reason. Sit still and quit complaining. Watch what I’m going to do!”Sometimes God calls us to rest in the midst of chaos and fear-when it doesn’t make sense-just to show us His glory. Our logical minds almost can’t comprehend that. Can you imagine what the Israelites were thinking? “You pulled us out of Egypt. Now Pharaoh is ticked off and coming to kill us and you want us to sit still? You’re crazy.”

The truth is that “sitting still and shutting up” quieted them enough to hear what God was trying to say. Later on in that chapter, God gave Moses instructions to raise his staff up and split the sea, allowing the Israelites to walk across on dry ground (Exodus 14:16).

To the amazement of the Israelites, this is what happened:

“The Israelites walked through the sea on dry ground with the waters a wall to the right and to the left. The Egyptians came after them in full pursuit, every horse and chariot and driver of Pharaoh racing into the middle of the sea. It was now the morning watch. GOD looked down from the Pillar of Fire and Cloud on the Egyptian army and threw them into a panic. He clogged the wheels of their chariots; they were stuck in the mud. The Egyptians said, "Run from Israel! GOD is fighting on their side and against Egypt!" GOD said to Moses, "Stretch out your hand over the sea and the waters will come back over the Egyptians, over their chariots, over their horsemen." Moses stretched his hand out over the sea: As the day broke and the Egyptians were running, the sea returned to its place as before. GOD dumped the Egyptians in the middle of the sea. The waters returned, drowning the chariots and riders of Pharaoh's army that had chased after Israel into the sea. Not one of them survived.” Exodus 14:22-28 (MSG)

A problem solved just by listening, resting and obeying. It seems simple enough, but incredibly hard to do when it doesn’t make any sense and when you are the one who is told to sit still and be quiet.

“GOD delivered Israel that day from the oppression of the Egyptians. And Israel looked at the Egyptian dead, washed up on the shore of the sea, and realized the tremendous power that GOD brought against the Egyptians. The people were in reverent awe before GOD and trusted in GOD and his servant Moses.” Exodus 14:30-31 (MSG)

Sitting still is hard. I feel like I sometimes sit still but not with the right heart or attitude. I do it out of spite. "Look, God. Can't you see I'm sitting still? When can I get up and move again? My friends are up and moving. You didn't tell them to sit still, did you? Maybe you did. Maybe I'm the only obedient one..." Sitting still is so important but it's crucial that you do it with the right heart. God would probably not be pleased with my percieved "obedience". "Keeping my mouth shut" also involves getting control over my thoughts. I may not always have a verbal running commentary of my "concerns" but I almost always have a silent running commentary in my head. I need to trust that what God has told me is true and is not going to harm me!

Old entry #1

So I've found 2 entries (this and the next post) from my very first blog that I ever had. They are kind of long but I think it's worth posting. I've re-written them and they made it into an online devotional blog that our church did several months ago for their 40 Days of Prayer series. Anyway, when I ran across them today, it seemed to hit me where I am (again!). Here ya go:

Blessings...
Three years ago, I started to write how God was blessing our family in the back of my Bible. I’d have entries like:

March 25: The furniture for our baby’s nursery was given to us today as a gift.

April 30: My husband got a promotion at work!

May 21: Our healthy, beautiful son was born today!

August 12: A family we know gave us a bunch of clothes that their kids had out grown.

September 19: I got a raise at work today!

March 17: TAX REFUND!!! Whoo hooo!!

The list goes on and on. It seems insanely practical but I’ve found it especially useful when I’m worrying about God’s provision. I have a tangible, personal reminder of His blessings. I look back often and smile, remembering the times when I’d stay up worrying if we could afford formula for our son and then laugh as I read the countless times I’ve recorded that our every need was provided for. How silly of me to doubt. I’m often reminded of this verse:

"If you decide for God, living a life of God-worship, it follows that you don't fuss about what's on the table at mealtimes or whether the clothes in your closet are in fashion. There is far more to your life than the food you put in your stomach, more to your outer appearance than the clothes you hang on your body. Look at the birds, free and unfettered, not tied down to a job description, careless in the care of God. And you count far more to him than birds.

Has anyone by fussing in front of the mirror ever gotten taller by so much as an inch? All this time and money wasted on fashion--do you think it makes that much difference? Instead of looking at the fashions, walk out into the fields and look at the wildflowers. They never primp or shop, but have you ever seen color and design quite like it? The ten best--dressed men and women in the country look shabby alongside them.

If God gives such attention to the appearance of wildflowers--most of which are never even seen--don't you think he'll attend to you, take pride in you, do his best for you? What I'm trying to do here is to get you to relax, to not be so preoccupied with getting, so you can respond to God's giving. People who don't know God and the way he works fuss over these things, but you know both God and how he works. Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. Don't worry about missing out. You'll find all your everyday human concerns will be met.

Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don't get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes.”
Matthew 6:25-35 (The Message)

I haven’t written the current blessings down for a couple of months now. I actually need to do that. I want to keep it fresh in my mind that God isn’t letting me fall by the wayside or starve-even when I think I am! His everyday provisions are amazing and just what I need. I take them for granted and sometimes only acknowledge the “big” blessings. I’m looking forward to the next 40 days to keep track of the blessings-those that are “little” and those that are “big”-in my life.

Thursday, July 06, 2006

For Rachel's sake...

"I was exhausted, worn out and overwhelmed. There were many unfulfilled expectations, too many people wanting too many things from me and I had nothing left to give. I had become so inundated with life that my daily time with God slipped and soon I felt unworthy and inadequate." -Sharon Glasgow

That's me today. I'm spent. I'm just tired. I'm tired of dealing with people and their personality disorders. Tired of trying to be all things to all people. I'm not sure it helped that I read 2 Corinthians 12:9-10 this morning. In fact it kind of ticked me off. I guess it's not a good thing to be ticked off at scripture or God. At least I'm being honest about it.

"Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." 2 Corinthians 12:9-10 (NIV)

What's to boast about? I'm tired of weakness. I'm tired of insults and hardships. I'm tired of persecutions and difficulties. Tired seems to be the recurring word here. I know it's understandable since we have a new baby and she doesn't sleep through the night yet. But sometimes I just want to scream "For my sake, give me a break!".

*sigh* I'm just having a grumpy day. Erin woke up a million times last night, I went to bed late and I had a pseudo-argument with a friend. All things that could equal a bad day. I chose to feel this way though. Maybe that's what the scripture means. We have a choice on how to respond to these things. My first reaction usually wants to be a loud scream. I know that I should be more dependent on Christ. I hate being dependent on anyone. I guess that's a pride thing. I want to be self-sufficient. I forget that there are other scriptures that say this:

"Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me-watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly." Matthew 11:28-30 (The Message)

Rest...that's what I need. Learning to "live freely and lightly"-that's what I want. How do I "consider it pure joy" when daily life tried to kick my butt? I'm really ok. Some say that they work out their faith with fear and trembling. I just work out mine with kicking and screaming. :o)

Let Us Decompose

I've been reading a lot of incredible articles on Relevant's website. This is another favorite:

Let Us Decompose by Mike Duran
G.K. Chesterton said, “Art is the signature of man.” Some believe men rose from monkeys. But let the record show, monkeys have no interest in sketching men. It is precisely our urge to sketch monkeys, which separates us from them. As the apologist wrote, if man was “an ordinary product of biological growth, like any other beast or bird, then it is all the more extraordinary that he was not in the least like any other beast or bird.” When ancient man first dipped his thumb into the blood of berries and scraped that red swath across cool granite, he distanced himself from elks and orangutans.

Human history is one of composition. Of course, we’ve come a long way from dancing reindeer and stick men on blackened cave walls. Today, the cave walls are digital and the stick men dance in cyberspace. But whether it’s Mozart or 50 Cent, Rembrandt or Warhol, Aesop or Spielberg, the urge to compose—to create new beings and worlds, new stories and songs—is unique to us. We write, paint, carve and mold; we sit hunched over parchments and tape recorders, laptops and canvas, searching for the right word, the right sound, the right image, yearning to rise above our earthly origins and distance ourselves from elks and orangutans.

Yet the creative spark reveals more about us than just our dissimilarity to animals. In a way, all composition is really decomposition. The word “decompose” simply means “to separate into components or basic elements.” It is to categorize, quantify, sort and stack; it is to break something down to its lowest common denominator.


In reality, we never really create anything: we reassemble existing parts, cut and paste objects and ideas from the known world, reshuffle the deck. Even abstracts are just extracts of the ordinary. I mean, when was the last time a new primary color was invented or a missing musical note discovered? Genuine originality, it’s been said, is rare. I’d venture to say, it’s extinct, dead with the first chisel strike or quill stroke. “There’s nothing new under the sun,” King Solomon said, without crediting his source. Maybe this is why plotlines follow the same basic patterns. Prime time TV is a constant karmic retread of new faces trapped in the same tired tales. Even Hollywood, the summit of artistic inclination, cannot rise above the remake. Musicians are judged by who they sound like (part Bob, Beck and Bruce), actors by who they look like (she’s got Jessica’s hair, Nicole’s eyes and Angelina’s lips) and books by how they read (think Harry Potter with a dash of Steele). Even fantasy worlds look like ours and superheroes like us—with a little tweaking. All our creations are re-creations, omelettes whipped up from yesterday’s leftovers.

For all our ingenuity and technical advances, no matter how many edits and remakes, we cannot rise above the Story Board. We are as fixed to its laws as Frodo is to Middle Earth. We stitch and sketch, dream up and hammer out, but we cannot transcend.

“In the beginning, God created ...” He composed. He assembled parts ex nihilo, “out of nothing.” He spread out the canvas and drew His thumb across the celestial swath. We live in that Composition, on that Canvas; we are the parts He assembled. Herein lies our glory and our deficiency.

We create because we are like Him, but we cannot create like Him.

Unlike God, we cannot make something from nothing. Everything we shape, form, order and arrange requires something else. Like a celluloid hero, the laws of the medium bind us. Poets need language and its laws, for without it their craft is made moot. Some musical forms may push the boundaries, but sour notes are not tolerable—even by the most sophisticated. Architecture can be innovative, as long as the foundation is solid. Characters can be fresh, as long as they are believable. Art must correspond to Reality—in fact, it cannot do anything but that.

If art is the signature of man, as Chesterton suggested, then man is the signature of God. And every film, song, poem or novel, no matter how tired or twisted, is an echo of His original act. So let us borrow, bleed and recast the old, tell the Tale a thousand times over. Let us crush the berries, raise the chisel and strike up the band, for tonight we decompose.

Saturday, July 01, 2006

The Fun in Dysfunctional

Incredible article in Relevant Magazine. Just thought I'd share. http://www.relevantmagazine.com/god_article.php?id=7162

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