Shhh!!!

I'm learning to be quiet. I know a lot of you are thinking "it's about time!" :o) I'm trying to learn how to live out my faith instead of it always being verbal.

I had a wonderful conversation with my friends Jonathan and Diane this weekend. Diane mentioned that she tried to steer clear of religious conversations due to some bashing she had received from Christians at some point in her life. It really made me think. In fact, I haven't been able to get it off of my mind all week long. I've been guilty of being "that Christian" one too many times. The one who is so zealous and wants to witness and do the right thing but isn't really educated in the Bible nor humble enough to sit and listen. I've been guilty of using the "sword of the spirit (the Bible)" as a weapon to harm people instead of a tool to help people.

I want to be more like Jesus. The only time you see him getting riled up in the Bible is toward religious leaders who are acting like idiots. I've done the opposite. I remember two particular incidents that sorely stick out in my mind. Once as a kid, I got in a fight with some boy on the school bus over who knows what. I was maybe 10 or 11 years old. I remember standing up and screaming "If you don't leave me alone, I'll preach to you!" Funny? Yes. Good? No. I got punched. Then I turned around and bit the kid. Yeah, I bit him. Now this kid was three years older than me-a high schooler. And he had no right hitting a girl. But I will guarantee you that I really deserved this one. I ran my mouth "for the glory of God" thinking I was helping the kingdom but all I was doing was making an self-righteous idiot out of myself and creating an enemy. Needless to say, we both ended up getting kicked off of the bus for a week.

The other incident is one that happened in college/post-college. I had a crush on a guy that didn't share the same beliefs that I did. I spent countless hours giving the "come to Jesus" speech in an incredibly nagging way just so I could date him. How shallow of me. This guy never talked to me again and probably has really bad taste in his mouth for Christians.

If I could turn back time, I would love to especially apologize to these two people. What a terrible way for me to misrepresent Christ. I want to make an effort to be relational-to be humble and to be quiet!!! If people can't respect me as a person, I will never be able to have any kind of impact in their life let alone share Christ.

Anyway, I guess what I'm trying to say is sorry to the guys (and anyone else) who I have given a bad view of God. And thank you to Jonathan and Diane for giving me grace and more opportunities to listen. I really appreciate you and your patience with me. It means a lot. I love you guys!

P.S. I found this quote at the end of a Relevant Magazine article and it seemed to fit: "I realized what Christian life is all about; it’s about relationships which transcend normal barriers." That's what I want to have.