Blessings in disguise...

Thanks to all of you who read and posted (or even just read) this week when I was having a bad day/couple of days. It really means a lot to me. Y'all deserve some pie. :o)

Many of you may not know this, but before I was married, I was diagnosed with a condition called "Endometriosis". It's pretty common in women. The prognosis was that I would more than likely not ever be able to have children due to the scarring the disease had done to my reproductive system. I was devistated. Imagine my surprise and sheer joy a month and a half after our honeymoon that a pregnancy test was positive. Ethan was on his way.

Pregnancy and breastfeeding puts endometriosis in sort of a remission-like phase. About a year after Ethan's birth, the endometriosis started to grow again. It was our desire to try to have another child. So, when Ethan was around 1 1/2 we decided to try for another baby. We tried for a year and at one particular doctor's visit, frustrated and discouraged, we discovered that one of my tubes was blocked. This made pregnancy extremely difficult. The doctor scheduled a Hysterosalpingogram (HSG) to try to flush the blockage out. I cried, I begged, I pleaded with God. I wanted another kid so bad. I spent hours browsing the baby clothes in stores, wishing that I had a reason to buy something again. I took every chance to babysit or hold my friends babies. I wanted a baby girl.

I actually didn't end up having the HSG because a few weeks before my appointment, I couldn't keep my Chinese food down. Believing that it was impossible (yet hoping it wasn't!)I took a pregnancy test. I actually took 4 of them because I wanted to make sure that they all came out with the same answer. I found out that I was pregnant with Erin. Incredibly excited (and scared out of my mind!), we began to plan for her arrival.

Why do I bring this up? I do because I felt like I got a clear, strong word from God on Sunday. One of our pastors, Pastor Dave, asked people if they wanted someone to pray with them for whatever they needed. A girl I know, Natalie, went to the altar to be prayed for because she's having some physical issues. I chose to go and pray with her. Meanwhile, Pastor Dave was saying something to the congregation (I didn't catch it all) about people being in a funk lately and needing some peace and direction. I always find it funny that when I step out to pray with someone about something THEY are going through, God always seems to "tap me on the shoulder" and say "Yeah, you're dealing with stuff too". I was. I was the one "in a funk" this week. I felt like God said "You know, you were here at this very same altar 1 1/2 years ago, crying your eyes out because you didn't think you'd ever get that second baby you wished for. You've got her. Now cherish her. Don't just look at the laundry, the mountain of diapers. Look at her. Cherish her. Love her."

It's true. I consider both of our children miracles. I spent almost 10 years of my life pretty sure that I'd never be able to be a mother. And now, especially the last week, I've spent my time complaining that I AM a mother! Aren't people funny? Or dumb...which is it? :o) My children are blessings. The sticky hand prints on my wall are blessings. The chocolate milk stain on our carpet is a blessing. The millions of times Erin wakes up at night is a blessing. The diapers, well...ok, I guess those are blessings too. My point is I need to cherish my kids...my miracles. My life is so much better now that they are a part of it. I can't imagine my life without them, nor would I ever want to. I love them so much.

So, here's to Ethan's ketchupy smiles, baby cereal covering me and Erin, mountains of laundry, me getting soaked to the bone during THEIR bathtime, first words, their tears, my tears and their wonderful daddy who helped make all of this possible. I love you guys and I promise to cherish you more and more each day.