+1 for Heaven
Today is the kind of day where you stare at your sleeping child just to make sure everything is ok. It's the kind of day where you question God asking why bad things happen to good people. I wrote a while ago about Shane & Rachel's high-risk pregnancy. Many things have happened in the last few days. You can get details here. To make a long story short, baby Hope passed away in the middle of the night last night at only 22 weeks.
I keep praying for peace for the family and I also keep praying that I don't say something stupid. We're human and we're dumb sometimes. We tend to say the stupidest things when someone is grieving. We think we are helping but in reality, we may not be. We say things like "At least you have other children at home" or "I understand how you feel" when you really don't. I've been through enough grieving situations to know that there really isn't anything you can say except "I'm sorry". The only things you need are arms, ears and tears. Arms to hug them. Ears to LISTEN to them. And tears to cry and grieve with them.
I found a really good and practical article from Christianity Today this morning about the subject. It's really helpful if you have a friend who is grieving.
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Baby Hope,
We haven't gotten to meet yet, but I know we will one day. Your short life has blessed me in so ways. I'm reminded of the song "Glory Baby" by Watermark.
I can't imagine Heaven's lullabies
And what they must sound like
But I will rest in knowing
Heaven is your home
And it's all you'll ever know, all you'll ever know
We love and miss you so much!
posted by Rachel Richard @ 10:48 AM
3 Comments:
Just be there. Sit and watch tv with them or hang out or talk on the phone or listen to them talk about how they're feeling or what they're thinking or what it means to them. Also, support groups are a wonderful thing, usually hospitals have the hook-up. What hospital were they at? I can find out who the coordinator is for the infant-loss support group and give you a number to give to them. It's more cathardic than you could possibly imagine being in a room with a bunch of other people who are going through what you're going through, when you know that no one else can really understand the excruciating ripping loss that you're feeling.
And whatever you do, don't expect them to be over it ANYTIME SOON. Or ever, really. It's a limp that you learn to deal with, but you never walk the same again.
It also helps to know that other people have been where they are and survived.
How sad! I cannot imagine how they are feeling right now, but as an expectant mother this story strikes me to the very core. Praise God that they are seeking their solace in Him and not in the world.
I understand what you mean about not knowing the right words or the right actions. I'm facing that myself at the moment. Last week my best friend's husband walked out with no warning. While that and losing a child are not the same, I am also facing a feeling of inadequacy while trying to help her through it. It's a loss and a a feeling of grief that I cannot relate to, but it's comforting to know that God is there for her right now.
I pray God will fill you with His Spirit at this time as you try to be there for your friends.
With prayers,
Melissa
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