Superman wears Jack Bauer pajamas!

January 15th is going to be a glorious day. Why you say? "Chinese ships should carry toys across the ocean, not Jack Bauer. 24 is back on Jan 15th." Oh, hallelujah! :o)



In honor of one of my favorite shows of ALL TIME, I've gathered a list of funny quotes about Jack Bauer from various places on the internet. Here's to four more weeks of waiting!

When a convicted terrorist was sentenced to face Jack Bauer, he appealed to have the sentence reduced to death.

When bad things happen to good people, its probably fate. When bad things happen to bad people, it’s probably Jack Bauer.

The city of Los Angeles once named a street after Jack Bauer in gratitude for his saving the city several times. They had to rename it after people kept dying when they tried to cross the street. No one crosses Jack Bauer and lives.

The 2007 budget for the US Military covers Jack Bauer, two pistols and four billion rounds of ammunition.

Passed out, surrounded by terrorists and nerve gas, and handcuffed to a table leg, Jack Bauer laughed to himself and said, "I have them right where I want them."

When Jack Bauer ran out of ammo, he caught 3 bullets in his chest and used them to reload.

MTV once tried to 'Punk' Kiefer Sutherland by staging a robery in a store. Sutherland smiled and pulled out his SIG and shot 3 actors in the head. This is why there was a new cast on Punk'd after season one.

Life doesn't give Jack Bauer lemons. Life asks him which fruit he wants.

If Jack Bauer was in a room with Hitler, Stalin, and Nina Meyers, and he had a gun with 2 bullets, he'd shoot Nina twice.

If everyone on "24" followed Jack Bauer's instructions, it would be called "12".

Jack Bauer doesn't need to eat, sleep, or use the bathroom because his organs are afraid of making him angry.

Jack Bauer can break anyone and anything, but he will always break the protocol first.

Jack Bauer does not get taken prisoner. He puts himself in a disadvantageous position so as to make his next several killings more dramatic.

Jack Bauers calender goes from March 31st to April 2nd, no one fools Jack Bauer.

Only Jack Bauer can fly a plane from the luggage compartment.

Most pilots need 5,000 feet of runway to land a plane. Jack Bauer needs 100 feet and a gun.

Jack Bauer once forgot where he put his keys. He then spent the next half-hour torturing himself until he gave up the location of the keys.

Upon hearing that he was played by Kiefer Sutherland, Jack Bauer killed Sutherland. Jack Bauer gets played by no man.

When life gave Jack Bauer lemons, he used them to kill terrorists. Jack Bauer hates lemonade.

Superman wears Jack Bauer pajamas.

Jack Bauer is the only human in the world with the ability to make Chloe O'Brien drop the personality disorder and patch him through.

Lets get one thing straight, the only reason you are conscious right now is because Jack Bauer does not feel like carrying you.

It's no use crying over spilt milk... Unless that was Jack Bauer's milk. Oh you are so screwed.

Jack Bauer was never addicted to heroin. Heroin was addicted to Jack Bauer.

When someone asks him how his day is going, Jack replies, "Previously, on 24..."

There is the right way, the wrong way, and the Jack Bauer way. It's basically the right way but faster and more deaths.

Killing Jack Bauer doesn't make him dead. It just makes him angry.

The truth may hurt, but it doesn't hurt as much as Jack Bauer.

Don't ever ask Jack Bauer what is going on. He'll explain in the car.

Jack Bauer doesn't take fingerprints, he takes fingers.

When Google can't find something, it asks Jack Bauer for help.

Messenger bags owe Jack Bauer for single-handedly stealing them from the clutches of emo fashion and making them genuinely cool. Same thing with hoodies. And crying.

Jack Bauer once killed so many terrorists that at one point, the #5 CIA Most Wanted fugitive was an 18-year-old teenager in Malaysia who downloaded the movie Dodgeball.

Jack Bauer's favorite color is severe terror alert red. His second favorite color is violet, but just because it sounds like violent.

In the 18 months where Jack Bauer was presumed dead, Tony Almeida was put in a coma, Michelle and David Palmer were killed, a major hurricane raveged the Gulf Coast, and Rob Schneider made another movie. See what happens when Bauer isn't around?

You can lead a horse to water. Jack Bauer can make him drink.

When the boogie man goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Jack Bauer.

Jack Bauer has been to Mars. That's why there's no life on Mars.

Jack Bauer's family threw him a surprise birthday party when he was a child. Once.

Jack Bauer could get off the Lost island in 24 hours.

Jack Bauer is the reason Waldo is hiding.