Pixilated

Somewhat unbalanced mentally...

Sunday, June 25, 2006

Old Friends...

I've recently gotten back in touch with some old college friends. I should have done it sooner but I've been scared. These people saw me at my worst-when I pretended to be someone I wasn't. I'm constantly reminded of who I use to be when I'm around them. It's not that I was a heathen or anything. I was just fake (which is probably worse). I can't tell you how many times I gave my "I'm a leader and I've got my act together" speech or "I'm holier than you" speech. Truth is that those were big fat lies. I didn't have anything together and I was dealing with the same issues they were. I just hid them better and had an ego the size of Texas. God forbid that a "good church girl" have any issues! I refused to let anyone know me for who I was or even know the stuff I was working out. Heck, I didn't even know who I was. I was only who I thought people wanted me to be.

Anyway, insecurities aside, I feel like I've gotten a lot of my past issues worked out. Not all of them but at least they are identified. And I know that there will be new issues that come to light as I keep getting older. But I'm excited to rediscover the friendships with my college buddies. I'm sure they aren't totally the same either. We were all a little weird in college. I think it was the lack of sleep and too much Ramen that messed us up.

2 Comments:

Blogger The Science said...

Wait a minute. We don't get enough sleep now, and there's a huge case of Ramen in our pantry. What's different? :-)

Sunday, June 25, 2006 8:31:00 AM  
Blogger Rachel Richard said...

True, true. There's also a lot of "crib parties" going on at 3 AM in Erin's room too. Nothing's changed. :o)

Sunday, June 25, 2006 3:41:00 PM  

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